i was given just one wish
In a more ideal life situation, I would spend most my time around people I admire. There's usually something cool about them, something unique, something most people don't get. They'd have many vices and would pretend to be concerned over what a bad influence they are on me. But we'd both enjoy it. And here I would feel free to open up more and be the smart ass we all know I am.I looked at my boyfriend today and thought of us in the future as an old, boring, sterile couple. Life had become the mechanics of get to work, what's for lunch, what's for dinner, watch tv, go to bed.
He asked me this evening if I could be doing anything right now, what would it be? I went with the immediate image that flashed through my head: Lying on a warm beach with a beer and a cigarette. Fuck, that would be nice. And miles away from here.
I've been at the crossroads for quite some time now. I panic at the thought. I should be closer to what I want than this.