honestly its a dilemma
I want days of doing nothing.I want to sit and laze and soak up my surroundings.
I could have played music. It was something that I knew. But I was forced to know it. If left to my own devices, what would I have done? They told me I could do anything over and over. But they wouldn't let me do it.
As a child, I loved to read. But they kept telling me to stop. "You're hurting your eyes." My eyes were perfect before I started sitting in front of a computer hours at a time. As punishment they would take away my books. I know now I read a lot of books with no substance. If only people would have recognized my love of reading and pointed me in the direction of something more.. prestigous? At my parents' home, you might find Stephen King and Erma Bombeck.
There was a couple I'd see every weekend. Older couple that liked to watch my mother and her partner play. She gave me a book every week. Little mystery novels. And a few harlequin romance.
I used to check out 10 books from the library. And read them all before they were due.
I soaked this stuff up.
These days I can't pick up a book to save my life.
Or can I? I may have done just that in college. Self help books. I was all over it. But what now, when I finally love myself, know how to express anger and not fear confrontation? What do I do in the day to day?