do make say think (friends cuddle)
oh, i guess i haven't said much in a while, huh. it's halloween and i've been wanting something to do for halloween, something to dress up as, for about a month now and now that it's here, i really don't want to do anything. it was a long weekend. andrew's son and his parents came to visit for the weekend. a lot of walking. a lot of going out to eat. i'm feeling hopeful with andrew's family, though there is still a lot more getting-to-know each other that can be done. andrew says his parents are "shy." i don't know about 'shy', but i've already decided i want to work on taking the initiative for more interaction. they both gave me a hug at the end of our weekend. andrew said his parents haven't done that with his other girlfriends. well.. that makes me feel special, but i won't let it get to my head.and his son is a blast. i love being goofy and silly with his son. he seems to enjoy tickling me, poking me in the nose, and telling me he likes me. and this time he even started giving me hugs.
so i think things are really going well. though i'm exhausted now because i haven't had a weekend for two weeks now. this past weekend his family here, and the weekend prior we spent in indiana with his son. i feel like i'm getting sick. i'm feeling hot and cold at the same time.
and, uhm.. i have things to say but i don't know how to get them out. there isn't much time to think.
andrew.. he keeps up with all this.. even reads other diaries and corresponds with the authors.. and really, i don't know how he does it.
this lifestyle fries my brain. limits my expression.
i want to just chill with a sexy stranger and dabble with mind-altering, mood-ehanching drugs.
i keep thinking of new york city. and wanting to go there. i thought chicago would be enough, but now i'm not so sure. something makes me think i need to take on the biggest city i can get my hands on.