no cigarette for you
Again, I should write in my handwritten journal, but again too lazy to get it out of the car. A handwritten journal is something more concrete. I do struggle with it though, because I can't seem to hold thoughts long enough to write them out. But still there's something more enjoyable about flipping through pages rather than scrolling down webpages.Oh well.
My thoughts have been everywhere lately. I don't really know how to focus right now. I thought this morning I would move this diary to diary-x. Going along with the foreign theme, I guess. Moving on. Moving to new places. Plus I think diary-x does some cooler stuff and has better default templates. I used to do templates/layout, but.. I've gotten lazy, I suppose. I wrote in my other diaryland site, probably more to be considered a supplement now, "I remember I can.. I just can never remember how." Really, those words came to me as I was thinking about designing a layout again. I remember everything I can do, but.. if I do it, I'm gonna hafta look up a lot of stuff, because I don't remember how to do most the stuff anymore. And then I thought maybe that could be applied to a lot of things.. if you really want to sit down and think about it.
Anyway. So I signed up, but I have to wait for an email now.
I remember trying scribblejournal and being excited about free hosting space for images. I thought they wouldn't be able to last long doing that. And, sure enough, they didn't. Good thing I didn't try to permanently move over there.
So. Tonight I spent a lot of time going through old receipts. Putting them in order and filing them away in an envelope. I don't suppose it serves much purpose. But as I was looking through them, they were telling me stories. 'Oh, on this day I was buying this because this and this was happening and I was with this person..'
A lot of them were from the time I was with Aaron. Not with him, but.. he was staying with me. I saw I started highlighting the items I bought for him, so that he could pay me back for them. But I soon gave up with that. To this day, he has paid me back very little. If.. anything. I suppose, maybe, he covered my ass when I was broke and then I covered his ass when he was broke. Only, he was more often broke than I was.
Oh well.
One day I'll get the money back. I'll keep telling myself that to my grave.
I did get a little sad, remembering everything I was doing with Aaron.. and.. not appreciating him at all when he was staying with me. Only seeing him as an invasion and annoyance. I really could've made more of the time he was there. Like I said I was going to. But my priorities were different. Or something. Or just being around him annoyed the hell out of me.
I remembered.. this is the day that we went to sonny's to eat and walked over to superwalmart in the same shopping center. We saw my coworker, John - or I did - walk out of Sonny's while we were eating.. And then I ran into him again at Walmart.
*shrug*
Oh, and this was the day I went to Publix with Jude. I needed to get supplies for my deviled eggs for the staff christmas party, and he needed to get.. groceries. We walked arm in arm in front of Publix for a bit beforehand, jovially looking in other stores in the shopping center from outside, because he was still smoking his cigarette.
*shrug*
We tease each other. We still play around. I sent him an email with a link to a picture of a woman dressed in a nun habit, her bare ass sticking out, though, and a cross in between her butt cheeks. I thought it was perfect for him, I told him. He has this thing with nuns, first of all.. like, he has two pictures hanging in his office: one, the nun is shoplifting, the other the nun is smoking out of a bong. And.. since I've been with him to pick out porn for himself, well.. I know what he likes. [big asses] He wrote back telling me it was nice, but.. he clicked on it at the circ desk at work [instead of the privacy of his office]. Perfect.
*shrug*