estero
'Estero' means 'foreign country' in Italian. I couldn't believe how perfect that is. I've always admired the word 'estero' but I originally knew it as a city that I pass through while traveling between Tampa Bay and Miami. I just really liked the way it sounded. But I still don't know much about it. The city, that is. I'll have lots to comment on about the concept of a foreign country.I'm in Chicago now. Soon to live here. It hadn't really hit me until maybe this weekend. Before this weekend, as imminent change drew nearer, I sort of wanted to ignore it. Fight it, even. But this weekend I've felt better about it. I've even wanted to squeeze my sweetie and say to him, "I'm really moving in with you." But he's probably more aware of it than I am. He's been excited, after all. I'd been having trouble getting excited.
It's hot in Chicago. Heat wave. 102 degrees yesterday. Weatherbug is saying 77 degrees now, but methinks it's lying.
*sigh*
81 according to weather.com.
My horoscope says there's something very private for me to deal with right now. I'm not sure what that is. It's even saying to keep it to myself. But I don't like keeping things to myself. Causes me anxiety. I don't want anything to hide. I belong to everyone else as much as I belong to me.
My first part of my visit in Chicago, I felt like I don't belong here. This is foreign territory for me here. And I'm doing my best to pretend I fit in. And failing miserably. I'm the quiet girl again. I hate being the quiet girl. But something kept telling me I'm not supposed to be here. This is all just pretend. I fell in love with someone yesterday and I'm left to deal with the consequences today.
There's an Esc button hidden inside this wrist rest. That's freaking awesome. I'd like to carry an escape key with me for wherever I go.
Anyway. So. Yeah. I hate waking up a completely different person from when I fell asleep. But it happens. I'm getting back to where I was, though, where I wanted to be.. it just took some work. And some calming down.